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I have been dizzy all day. Ugh! I feel like I've been reading in a moving car. I hate that feeling. I haven't eaten much today, which is a huge part of the problem, but the times I did eat, it only made it worse! It might just be that I didn't get enough sleep last night. Smart one that I am decided to take a test for one of my classes at around 1am, so I didn't get to bed until around 2am. Not to mention that I've been running around since 8:30 (due to some good news) and having to plan for my daughter's birthday. On the plus side, though, it seems as though I'll be able to reach one of my (only slightly revised) goals by Disney. Hopefully tomorrow I'll be done with the dizzy spells so that I can go about reaching my goals in a healthy way.



Other than me feeling like I was on a merry-go-round all day, it's been a pretty good day. My husband and I finally got our happy asses over the the ticket pick up area to get our tickets for Disney (YAY!) and we were pleasantly surprised this morning when we looked at our bank account (haha).



For now, however, I'm getting off the lap top. My dizziness has turned into an ever growing headache.



Blug.

This popped into my head so I figured I'd give it a shot. Here's a list of things I wish I could say to people I know, but for whatever reason, I can't (at least not right now)...



1. Your sleep talking is usually the highlight of my night.

2. I really miss spending time with you.

3. I told you so.

4. Hi. I miss you.

5. I love how I learn something new about you every single day.

6. I don't think you've changed very much, and that's not a compliment.

7. You're profile picture is a few years too old.

8. Please don't call after 9pm.

9. I wish you were still here so that I could talk to you.

10. I'd say you sound like Mickey Mouse, but that's an insult to a few very talented voice actors.

11. I can forgive, but I can't forget, and even forgiving is difficult sometimes.

12. Thank you.

13. Love.

14. You are as perfect as they come.

Watching "Inglorious Bastards." It doesn't matter how many times I see this movie, I still love it. I swear, I could watch Quentin Tarantino movies all day long.



On a completely unrelated note, I just now discovered the "Honor" system here on VR. Lol. I decided to take a break from birthday planning (which I was doing to procrastinate writing a paper. *sigh*), logged on and noticed that little tidbit of info. Interesting.



As for the planning, I have to say that I'm totally and completely excited about taking my daughter to Disney. My husband shakes his head at me most of the time, but that's ok. I shake my head at him most of the time, too. Our trip is roughly 7 weeks away and I have so much to do between now and then (buying stuff, mostly, but also eye doctor appointments, regular doctor appointments, hair cuts, school work, etc.). I think my biggest thing is going to be remembering to BREATHE between now and then. I have 3 papers, (including the one I'm putting off writing), 6 tests, 1 unit exam, and some extra credit due before then.



Ugh, why can't I have a time turner like Hermione?

So I just read over some of my old journal entries. Wow, was I ever spaztic back then. Haha. And not just spazy, but very emotional. Love, hate, anger. Repeat. Funny how some of my predictions came about. Funny how I've grown since then.



Funny how I'm wasting time reading old journal entries instead of going to sleep. *sigh*

I think I may just walk out of this school semester, but just barely sane and probably more resembling a zombie than anything else. Yeah, ok, I get that other moms can take 4 classes and still be full time moms and work full times. To be honest, I'm not sure those women are really people. They may just be robots. I'm taking (and so far acing) 2 classes and I'm a full time, stay-at-home mom, and I'm starting to question whether or not my brain is intact in my skull or if I've left bits of it here and there.



Switching topics quickly (because that's what I do) I'm currently planning my daughters birthday celebration for this year. Disney! For 3 days! I haven't had a real vacation in almost 3 years. This is going to be *very* exciting. It's funny, whenever I get really excited about something, I plan the hell out of it. My husband says I'm obsessing over what hotel we're going to stay at. I don't see it that way. I see it more as me making sure the hotel we want to stay at is really a good one. *shrugs*



Anyways! Bed time for me. Busy day of test taking, laundry, and birthday planning tomorrow. Besides, my daughter is talking in her sleep and I'm choosing to take that as a sign.



Zzzzz....

Tonight I'm on an Evanescence kick. Mixing the old with the new. I know it sounds cheesy, but when I listen to their songs (especially their older ones) and I close my eyes, I can envision my muse creating pictures in my head.



It's nights like this where I wish I had a photography studio where I could just unleash my imaginings and let them manifest themselves into a photographic reality. It's nights like this that I can close my eyes and remember my 18 year old self in my room on a Friday night, gothing it up and listening to Evanescence music. I can see myself in my pink room, tinted slightly red, drawing spiderwebs on my face.



Then I see myself on nights like tonight, headphones on my head so as not to disturb my husband and daughter as I listen to music. I'm not so different from who I was back then. At least, my creative side isn't. Experiences have molded me into the woman I am today. I'm stronger because of my 18 year old self, because of her coping skills.



The only thing I wish I could change right now is knowing where the hell I put my camera charger, but such is life sometimes. For now, I'll have to settle for a nice warm bed and a very cuddly almost-two-year-old and husband. I think I can live with that.